I am traveling at the speed of If...
If only, what if, if things were different, if things stay the same, if my evil twin isn't the evil one, if my trajectory continues I will be slung into the burning phosphorous of Hellfire or exponential ascent into the Great Om, if I eat another burrito I will defecate Cholula hot sauce and exhale evaporated Hatch chilies, if I write another song will it matter, if I buy another microphone/preamplifier will I ever stop buying more, if I keep getting older will I stop being my idea of me, if I have one more absinthe could I make my ink pen move, if I kiss you will I slip you a little tongue or a lot or none, if I paid attention must I still keep paying, if I switch out my 2520 op-amp in my API equalizer will my right channel work, if my car finally takes a crap, will I be carless because I am a broke mutha-sucka with no savings, if I had money would I be an self-encompassed asshole, if I wasn't such an self-encompassed asshole would I typing this if-dysenteria, if those butterflies that were fucking on my shoulder made caterpillars or did he pull out in time, if my dog Zorba talked would I still like him, if you are still reading this you have copious amounts of patience and belief that I will actually have a point to this, if I keep writing, will this illuminate some Jungian principle that will put the puzzle pieces together in such a way that I will see me for the very first time, if I stop writing will I not find the subconscious meaning as to why I started thinking about If?
If is my mystery.
If is my mistress who keeps her mouth open and her mouth shut.
If is my reason for being.
There I found it.