The Black Forest

Random blaghness...

Naked Phone Rules...

In bed naked? Just got out of the shower? Or just walking around the house in yer skin suit?

Here are the rules for talking naked on the phone:

1. If mom calls, let the answering machine pick it up. The voice of your mother and your bits jangling in the breeze just shouldn't happen.

2. If a business call comes through, take it. Use that sexual power to your advantage. "Yea...I'm talking to you! Take that!" *strut...strut...strut*

3. If it's a friend who calls...hmmm...hell I don't know. You'll know what to do. Some friends I have no problem defecating and urinating while I'm talking to them. What are friends for?

4. If a significant other? You don't need a rule for that. Every sexual thought, innuendo, and er...umm...yea...has been done under the sun a billion times over. One hopes for frequent occurrences like this to rear your Sexus, Nexus, and Plexus head up to the sky.

5. If a telemarketer calls, just walk over to the toilet and start letting loose right away. If you can't, simulate it. They won't be on the phone for long. I laughed for days after I did this. *misty-eyed-smile* *wipe* *blink*

6. If an alien calls, tell them they aren't a very good alien if they need to use a phone and hang up. Unless they're kinda sexy sounding with lots of heavy breathing, wispy noises and such. Then you can start by asking them what they're wearing? Or...from which mouth are they speaking from?


By the way...I typed all of this typed on my computer...naked.