The Black Forest

Random blaghness...

Digging In the Dirt...

All I do is not enough. Nice, normal people. What is exactly that? Proceed. Proceed Cady/Christopher/Atom. We never know what "will ruin everything". "Oh it's you! Hey you! You're the one that will ruin everything! Cool..."

Opposites. Diametrically opposed forces...and I'll agree with both. Take for instance the ideas of Ayn Rand and the idea of the individual, the creator...and conversely the idea of "to be of service" to others. I feel that I must be both at the same time. Maybe I just have a propensity for all encompassing mind-fucks. *laughing*

Maybe to better be of service to others you gotta get your own stuff worked out first. Hmmm...not first. That would mean we'd never do anything for others for 50 years or we walk into the desert for 40 days alone. We can do it whilst we're still under-construction. I have a lot more construction needed. A week in the stockade won't help me. "Yes...I did it. I touched your woo-woo..." We all have woo-woo's...and they all must be touched. We gotta eat, breath, squint when it's too bright. I am fucking with you. Really...I'm not. I'm both! This is the point.

I'm digging in my dirt and when that happens I might find almost anything. This isn't the usual nothing. There's nothing and then there's nothing and this isn't nothing because it is nothing! Damn it! I did it again! This is evidence for my banishment proceedings. Banish me. I've been bad...I will continue being bad and will continue being good and trying not to be a selfish asshole in this whoreld...this world.

I'm not gonna hit delete. Delete is for pussies.


Down the Rabbit Hole...

Unicorns having three-way penetrative sex whilst vomiting rainbows and farting magic...this is in my head...oh dear... It's is amazing what can be found on the Internet. Every perversion known to man and few man didn't know it had. Like UniPorn. Porn with unicorns. I won't list these links for you, because it is simply too easy to find it yourselves.

How disturbing can we get? Not enough apparently. I'm sure I could type the most vile and f*cked up thing and put it into Google and I'd find a link or website devoted to it. The Internet has become our collective conscious, no matter how dark and disturbing...and I like that.

I think in acknowledging our darkest thoughts we have an opportunity to vanquish them. This may take some time though. *laughing* It will take a long time for my mind to let go of the UniPorn imagery...but I'll have a many a good laugh getting rid of it. Many things out there are not as funny or funny at all. Putting a light into the darkness shows us what's really there and gives us the chance to not be scared and find that the noise we heard was just a hungry cockroach, not the Devil and all it takes is a few carefully placed footsteps...

You Are In My Movie...

You are in my movie. Yep. That's right. My movie. I didn't pick you, the casting director did. Stupidly, I assigned myself to be the director, lead actor, co-writer, and even the DP! No wonder I'm always exhausted! *laughing and coughing*

Notice I'm not the producer and a "co-writer". Yep, the producer can pull the plug on the production of this puppy anytime. I'm always battling with the other script writers...."Really? Do I have to be broke all the time and get sued by creditors? Really? Can't we write in a break somewhere? Like a song placement? Or maybe a fan base larger than 50 people? No? Okay..."

It a movie that is a work in progress. The plot is typical Hollywood. Guy struggles to be a man, an artist, makes dumb-ass choices sometimes, adventures, near-death events...with a twist of indie film scenes thrown in laced with boredom and malaise. You know...the kind of indie film you watch nothing happen at all. That's my movie. Thank goodness I'm the DP, at least I can choose what lenses to want to look though, wide screen, 120 mm, rose colored...

Some people I want taken out of my picture, but they're under contract, so I'm stuck with them. Others I want put in my movie...it may happen, or I may have to fight for them to get put in, or I can't afford them or they are in another movie and they can't do mine. There are so many actors it's like an Robert Altman film. Which means a good chance it will get critical acclaim and be a monetary flop....but that's alright. You can't take it with you, right? *grin*

I don't know how big a role you will play, it's up to you, me, the other writers and the producer...but hopefully you'll want me in your movie. I need the work! Hell, I'll work for the catering food!


Furry Friends and Walmart...

Furry friends and Walmart. This is what is on my mind today. I'm planning a video shoot with my super-woman-friend-DLW-Stacie Huckeba for my song "Friends Fur Life" from my Los Feliz EP in East Nashville. All I will say is that I'll be laughing my ass off the whole time. Images of bear and bunny heads, a little seediness, and little 70's and a lot of....well...you'll just have to wait and see.

Now add those images with images from the website of www.peopleofwalmart.com and you'll have an inkling of what is swirling around my head. It is scary, very scary. Please help me. Someone please wash my brain out with soap. Anyone stupid enough to mix Fluffies with Walmart is fucking crazy and I stand guilty. I plead the Fifth! I plead the Fizzy! Fifth! Hawaii FIVE - OH I plead the Fizzy!!! Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! Do I hear a Hala-fallujah?!!

See..this is where anti-psychotic medication would come in handy.


My Magic 8-Ball and the Chaos Theory...

I love my Magic 8-Ball. All life's questions can be answered in a quick shake. Maybe not the best answer, but an answer none the less! I decided to take a whole day and only let my Magic 8-Ball make any choices I had to choose. It was awesome! I laughed at every shake. Talk about a stress free day, my Magic 8-Ball had me cancelling plans with good friends, watching old movies, eating food I didn't want but liked, hanging out with a virtual stranger, and drinking rose flavored lassies. It wasn't what I had in mind at all. That's the point! Putting a day of your life on random.

I enjoyed that day so much, I have a web page that had a Magic 8-Ball program on it that I get to from my phone. I've been using it out occasionally. Talk about pulling the trigger, taking a shit or get off the pot, choosing a side of the fence and fall off, stab it and steer, hit it or quit it...you get to doing or not doing fast! I will say that when it gives me the non-committal reply it is a little frustrating...they need a Robert Mitchum version that gets rid of all that "Maybe" crap.

See....we can't do random. We need external forces to give us random. Hence flip a coin, roll some dice, close your eyes and let your finger fall randomness that we use all the time. Random should not be confused with chaos, chaos is a powerful force in nature. Random is kind of like a bounded chaos. It has set number of variables like my Magic 8-Ball.

As I see it, yes
It is certain
It is decidedly so
Most likely
Outlook good
Signs point to yes
Without a doubt
Yes
Yes - definitely
You may rely on it
Reply hazy, try again
Ask again later
Better not tell you now
Cannot predict now
Concentrate and ask again
Don't count on it
My reply is no
My sources say no
Outlook not so good
Very doubtful

Chaos Theory is the science of how things change. Acknowledging the chaos in our lives can be scary and unnerving, but can do us a world of good. Accepting we really have little control over our lives and the world, does not go down easily. We simply need to let many things go and swallow a chaser.

*cough* *cough*

"Whew! That's some strong but smooth stuff!"

"Hello officer, yes...I am under the influence of random and chaos and I just rolled past that stop sign, crossed the double yellow line, did a donut in the parking lot and urinated on the Wells Fargo bank ATM machine..."

"Yes officer...it was completely random's fault, not me. See this Magic 8-Ball? Yea...those old toys...yea...that one...see...hold on I'll show you. Should I flip off this officer and haul ass out of here?"

*shake* Yes - Definitely

"Bye-bye mother fucker!" SCREEEEEEECH!!!!!

(2 hours later in jail)

"Ummm...Magic 8-Ball when will I get out of here?"

*shake* Ask Again Later...Much Later